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When People Say Mean/Negative Things About You & Your Chronic Illness

Feel sorry for them, not for you

Ready for a story? You’re going to wonder why I am telling you this. 

Today I was at work and I was working back and forth between the desk and doing pedicures; basically filling in where needed. A woman comes in clearly upset and I was her first point of contact so of course I was the person she directed her “feelings” towards. She was… let’s just say she was mad and she wanted to make me VERY aware of that.

Because I used to be the evening Lead Salon Coordinator I still had my past manager settings in the computer program we use which enabled me to fix her problem. It was a simple mistake someone else made the day before because the weekend had been busy and sometimes things get messed up. Long story short she wasn’t given the discounts she was supposed to get, I fixed it, and sent her on her way. Throughout our entire interaction with each other her attitude was terribly unpleasant from her facial expressions to the way she talked (yelled) to me. I however was calm and pleasant, fixed the problem, and that was that. 

My friend looked at me and said, “I’m glad you were the one handling that because I would have gotten just as upset as she was.” The reason things like this don’t bother me is because I know she’s not mad at ME, I’m just on the receiving end of her anger. She may just be

Working at the salon, doing makeup on a client

an unpleasant person, or maybe she has other things going on in her life and she’s taking her feelings out on me instead, or… who knows? Her negativity did not affect my day and I went on to do a pedicure for such a special young lady who had me cracking up. I chose to focus on that and come home in a good mood for hopefully making her day just as great as she made mine.  

Why am I telling you this? 

How I Handle Rude, Negative Opinions About My Health and It's Impact on My Life

It’s the same way I handle people when it comes to how I am treated sometimes because of my chronic illnesses. If someone doesn’t accept you because you have an ostomy shame on them. Don’t let it be your problem. You know who you are and no one can take that away from you. If someone says something negative about how you look or because of anything having to do with your disease or the symptoms it causes then who the hell are they? Certainly not an understanding or compassionate person. Feel sorry for them, not for you. 

It’s them, not you is how I like to look at it. Stand tall and confidently in who you

are and if someone is giving you negativity and you don’t deserve it then let it roll off your shoulders. If someone treats me like that it’s when I realize that I shouldn’t let them ruin my day. They don’t know me and they have the problem, not me. I feel sorry for people who are so negative and hurtful; it must be an awful way to live. 

It's Them, Not You.

I don’t know what the woman at work got out of yelling at me? Her problem would have been fixed whether she was nice to me or not. She was yelling at the wrong person anyway because I wasn’t the person who charged her in the first place and really she accomplished nothing by being nasty to a nice girl working to fix her problem. 

Just another reminder to remember that your disease does not lessen your value. It doesn’t make you less worthy of respect than your neighbor. Don’t stand for it. If you have ever felt like you don’t deserve to be treated right because you are sick then you shut your face right now! Being sick does not make you have less value.


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